Guilt & Memories
by pas l'auteur
Summary: Narukami Yu returns to Inaba after almost twelve years. He decided to take a lone stroll in the cold winter, reminiscing his precious and long forgotten memories... before he goes some place far away to remove his guilt. Disclaimer: I don't own Persona. T for suicide mission. Hope you'll like it.


Guilt & Memories

Narukami Yu grabbed his smoke smelled trench coat from his seat and warped his thin body with it as the train he boarded reached its destination. He stood up and prepared himself to depart in front of the door. Not many people seemed to travel to a rural town named Inaba as only he and two other passengers got ready to depart. As the train stopped and the sliding door opened, Yu strolled out and reach for the station. He smiled nostalgically as he glanced around the almost empty station. Particularly Yasoinaba Train station has made a few upgrades during those years he passed to visit here. There had five vending machines now.

The snow began to pour the rural city. Winter in Inaba was colder than anywhere else Yu ever traveled. Added by how this street's usually empty, Inaba was perfect to be called ghost town. He always recommended those who want to make a horror movie or such here. That's if anyone know where this town is. It particularly looked small in the map. Instead of waiting for a taxi, he decided to take a stroll for his memories sake. For some reason, he found nothing different around town. After twelve years gone by, he found it amazing how this city survived the modern world of global technology while still maintained its character as rural town.

Yu picked out a smoke from inside his trench coat and immediately lighted it with a single move. Yeah, he's a chain smoker. After all happened to him back in Tokyo, this kind of thing kept him sane. While he's in his third semester in college, his father somewhat made a mistake in his career and forced him to stop working. On the other words, the company kicked him out. It felt like a sharp blow to the chest for him. He dropped six only three days upon fired. Turned out he had a stroke and his mother had to step in to take care of him. Thus she quitted her job.

Yu would really felt terrible if he just continue study and didn't worry much about his parents when they told him to. With her mother out of business, who'd pay for his father's medical needs or his stays at the hospital? True they had some saves for time like these. But for how long? It'd run out eventually. Finally it had to be him right? And so he dropped his college and start looking for work. With only a high school degree as his official, he didn't really find a suited job for this circumstance. Nevertheless it's enough to keep his father alive. Even if it's only for a year.

After his death, his mother didn't seem like living. Yu, as the only family she had left had to take care of her needs. He wasn't really fond at his career line and often switched from job to job. Eventually, his mother followed the father sooner than he thought. The death of his parents in a single year tore his heart off. As if the god himself curse him, turned out his father had debts before his departure. Yeah, the talk about them having some saves was a lie. They borrowed the money form loan shark. Him as the son must work harder to take care of their parent's mess.

It's been ten years since then. Yu decided to visit the only place he found true happiness in his life. Inaba. He had so much memory here, either good or bad. But that made him lived to the fullest. His friends was always asked him what's going on. However he's too busy doing a company's dirty work to reply. He wondered how life went on for them.

Yu exhaled smoke out of his mouth as he reached the entrance of the famous Amagi inn. Surely, does this town have its own time or something? Nothing changed since he was a second year in high school! Unbelievably marvelous. He had to praise this town stubbornness.

As he walked in, the staff immediately greeted him and kind escorted him to the front desk. He had hoped to be welcomed by his friend upon his arrival at the inn, but it seemed too much to hope as he didn't told anyone about his visit. He smiled a little after saw a picture of a beautiful raven-haired woman placed proudly at the wall. 'Amagi Yukiko, Manager of Amagi inn.' said the shiny gold plate below it. She took over the inn after all.

Finished negotiating at the front desk, a staff asked him to follow her to locate his room. Yu politely refused, claiming he had been here before and it's okay for him to do it on his own. What coincidence the front desk assigned him to his old room. Very nostalgic, he remembered how Yosuke and Teddie hugged each other in horror as Kanji hesitantly received a mysterious phone call. Turned out it was the front desk telling him the bath was opened. They scared for nothing. He laughed a little on how relieved he was, knowing it wasn't a ghost. It was all in the past.

Tomorrow came and he woke up with his forehead on the table. Seemed like he was too tired to ready the futon last night. He grimly smiled. He was stupidly waiting for a turned off TV to turn itself on at midnight. Of course he it didn't show up, the Midnight Channel. They had dealt with the goddess Izanami. He missed it somehow. Facing the unknown while saving people from themselves. Summoning Personas. Well, that's that.

Yu threw out his run-out smoke and picked out another one from his trench coat. He held it between his finger and stare at the house he lived for a year in high school. Dojima Residence. So much happened in there that he couldn't describe it one by one. He wondered how Nanako was doing without him all these years. Did she remember his broken promise to take him as a bride? Although everyone took it as a joke, he didn't think she did. And his uncle, that old hypocrite, he bet he get along with Nanako and worried she'll have a delinquent boyfriend or marrying a criminal. He lighted the smoke and inhaled it. He slowly exhaled the smoke and glance at the house one more time before he walked away. A little smile formed as he noticed a twin-tailed silhouette inside the house.

Junes. Odd he didn't notice the stand out change it made. Simply said, Teddie's fever. They were like re-decorated the entire place into Teddie's land. There's Teddie beside the famous Junes font at the platform. Teddie shaped table, its appearance was as odd it sound. Teddie's own branded snacks, under Junes brand of course. Thing that mostly got Yu's attention was a giant Teddie doll at the entrance. No, no, what even more was, Teddies. He meant Teddies, oh it's hard to describe, and he was too busy with his mental laugh. Kanji's doing, no doubt. Who else's skilful enough to duplicate Teddie's infamous red-blue bear suit.

Yu inhaled his smoke and exhaled it. He missed the time when Teddie hugged him out of the blue and crying 'Senseeei!' all the time, Yosuke's banter about Kanji's problem with girls, the eight of them gathered and talk nonsense afterschool. Those were precious memories. Yet he abandoned them all these years.

He coughed up his smoke as a certain brunette man with a four or five year old kid on his shoulder sighted from afar. It's him alright, his partner, Hanamura Yosuke. Well, he looked a little mature with stubble and a slightly shorter haircut. Most importantly, that kid was definitely his. He chuckled heartily. When did he get married? Who's the lucky lady? His expression then turned grim a moment later. He had missed his best friend's marriage. He's a terrible friend. Well, that's that.

Yasogami High's the same as ever. Once again Yu was amazed how this town survived the modern life. The school's closed, probably because of winter break. He leaned his back against the gate and glance at the road he used to take before entering school. Chie, Yosuke, Rise or Kanji usually shouted from afar to stopped him and talk about, things. Or he met up with Yukiko or Naoto at the entrance and talked about the case. This time, only empty road stared back at him. Sad. He inhaled his smoke and exhaled it. Well, that's that.

Yu stopped as he noticed he's already at Samegawa riverbank. The river was still clean, he could even see the fish from up the road. He glad this place didn't change much. Otherwise he wouldn't have recognized it. This was the place where he trained with Chie. He and Naoto also used the longue at his left while solving the mysterious thief case. What he remembered most was, he fought Yosuke to be equal on that ground. Of course he didn't forget when he comforted Rise by laughing at her while she's crying at this road. Oh, and the first time he tasted Yukiko's dread bento. He lost his tongue ability for the rest of the day.

The sun seemed shy. It's past twelve and it's still hiding behind the sea of clouds. Yu walked out the Moel Gas Station convenient store, which was under Junes wing, apparently. The entrance said, 'Mini Junes'. It's a safe assumption. Naoto would definitely say that. After replaced his empty smoke box with his new one, he began to walk along the shopping district.

Simply said, this place that had significant change of all place he visited so far. Ruled out Junes. Its change was mandatory. Livelier, more people roaming about, and obviously more stores. The government seemed to do a good job for rivaling the almighty Junes. However, there's a certain shop he didn't sighted. Marukyu Tofu. Supposedly, it was standing between the Daidara workshop and 'he forgot what name' item shop which were still there. The place turned into a certain famous shoe brand outlet.

From what he could conclude from this was, Rise's grandmother passed away and the girl was too busy in her show business to take over, or she didn't want to in the first place. Well, Risette's famous alright. She's a major female artist in Japan showbiz. No surprise, really. For her to be succeeded like that, he bet Rise's grandmother already blessed her.

Yu still remembered the first time she met her there. Along with Yosuke and Kanji, he checked up on her after knowing she's the next target. She looked different as she was in TV, Yosuke's mentioned that loudly. On the other hand Kanji didn't really give a damn about it and asked her straight out. He only stood there watching as his two friends talked. His presence alone was more than enough. But where's he all these years? He's cloaked with guilt.

Moving on to the other part of the shopping district, he unconsciously dropped his smoke. A particularly the biggest building in the shopping district was really surprised him with its appearance alone. It was, fancy, too many colors and pattern at the lower side and extremely opposed the fancy, the upper side was like a mafia's den. All black and had no decoration with almost a windowed glass at every wall. In the middle however, the building's name written in harmony; Tatsumi's Doll Store & Shirogane's Detective Agency. From across the street, he could saw a capped figure talked to a taller person at the upper side. Yu was almost grinning as he saw that. The awkward couple seemed to do well on their relationship.

At the upper hill of Inaba, Yu sat casually with smoke gripped between his teeth. He's grinning. The mixed feeling between guilt of abandoning this place and happiness of reminiscing his precious memories caused him to grin like a fool. Yeah, he felt like one. He didn't even have the gut to say hello to his friends or his families. All he could do was watching them from afar. Like a fool, he's.

Well, that's not the main reason he took this trip here anyway. He had lost everything in Tokyo. He gave it all to settle the debts. He had no purpose anymore, nor a desire or anything like sort. He just wanted to end it. Here. In a place he held dear. Besides, nobody would miss him. Everyone had their good lives. They'd just have to treasure it. He sure they'd do well without him. He's not their 'fearless leader' anymore. He's not a guy to envy, to looked up to, to love. He's just a broken man who wants to die peacefully. Yu picked out a bottle of Cyanide he kept in his trench coat all this time. It's a quick and less painful death solution for a broken like him.

One chug… and it'll all be over.

"Yo! I thougt it was you, snooping around Junes like a thief." A familiar voice called from behind him, stopping him from raising the bottle as he opened it. "C'mon, partner! I like surprise, but you could've called you know!" That's Yosuke.

"I was surprised when you finally sign at the guest list. I was specially prepared that room for you in case you visited." And this is Yukiko. That's explains why he got his old room. "You could've met me first if you visit the inn!"

"Darn it Narukami-kun! The suspicious gray-haired male, who litter the streets with cigarettes was you, wasn't it?" That's Chie. The way she talked, she's like a policewoman on patrol. Good for her.

"Why didn't you come in when you saw us by the window, Senpai?" Naoto's here too, and hearing 'senpai' somewhat warmed his heart.

"Damn right, Senpai! I saw you, well, I didn't at first. Naoto told me. Uh, anyway, welcome back senpai." Kanji. Yu couldn't help but chuckled.

"Geez, Senpai! Why didn't you tell me you want to take a vacation here too?" Even Rise?

"Welcome back, big bro!" Nanako… this is too much for him…

"Man, I thought you never come back." Uncle...

"SENSEEEEEEEIIIIII!" That one's Teddie… the bear just immediately hugged him as he cried that.

Yu silently kept the bottle and turned around. The smiling faces off those who had been waiting for him. The teary eyes of some who expected him. The crying bear who hugged him with all his might. He couldn't help but she a tear. Just a tear though, otherwise it'll ruin his image.

Well, he didn't expect this. Everyone still welcomed him with open arms, made him realized what a fool he was when saying he had nothing left. He still has families, here and his most trusted friends. He was never alone.

Yu had always wanted to say these words for a long time. He finally got to say it.

"I'm back, everyone."


End file.
